This is my great-grandfather. He was born a little more than a hundred years before me and missed me by about 15 years. The stories of him lived on however; and I always felt a strong connection. Not sure if this is me being a romantic, but I also felt like I saw him in my grandmother’s eyes. All to say, it is surely fate that Grey Notes is the namesake of my great-grandfather Grey. 

Like all life stories, without the main character around to tell it as it exactly was, it is a little incomplete. That is what makes it so mysterious though; us knowing that we will never know all the details until we are (hopefully) reunited in some afterlife, whether it be via reincarnation or in some divine destination. But I am quite blessed to have had passed down to me a rather thorough collection of episodes to etch together the adventure of the life that was lived by John Grey.

Let us start with his birth. He was born to an English father and a mother of whom we know very little about (mystery #1) in Calcutta, India in the early 1880s. He had a younger brother and sister, who we will get to again in a bit. Seems like his mother was out of the picture relatively early on, and with his father busy at work, he and his siblings were predominantly raised by local domestic help. As such he spoke Bengali (or maybe Hindi?) and it seems like he did in a meaningful way, as I have stories of him speaking in Bengali (or Hindi?) in Canada many decades later. 

His father passed when he was the young age of eight. While working on building a railway in Burma, George died and was laid to rest there. One day before I die, I would like to find and visit George’s resting place, especially as great-grandpa John’s ashes were scattered in nature, leaving no way for me to physically connect with him. Instead I will go visit his father.

A few years after his father’s death, a decision was made by his grandmother to bring him to England to live with her and two of his father’s sisters in Plymouth. His younger brother and sister remained in Calcutta. We aren’t totally sure of the reason why, but my strong suspicion is that it was due to financial constraints. 

Just imagine the heart wrenching experience it must have been. Mother long gone, father dead; and then being separated from your two siblings and sent on a months long boat ride to an unfamiliar land to live with relatives you had never met. Imagine how he was feeling and what got him through that long voyage. Was it a trip filled of fear, loneliness, but also some hope? Or maybe he was an old soul and the trip was one of reflection and anticipation of the next chapter of his life?

He landed in Plymouth England, now about 12 years old, and entered a local school, Plymouth College, which still exists to this day.

Mystery #2 is what kind of student, friend and young man he was during his teenage years. I find that we often canonize people from past generations as perfect, stern and somewhat emotionless. Me reading a number of books by past generations recently has changed my perspective on this. I believe that human nature really doesn’t change from generation to generation. In other words, boys will be boys. So my hunch (and hope) is that John Grey wasn’t perfectly obedient and that he got up to at least a little but of mischief.

A few photos give us a glimpse into his teenage years. It’s worth noting that while these photos are more than a hundred years old, if you were to change the haircuts and clothes and add colour, they would be indistinguishable from young people today. All to say, I wager that human nature if timeless.

And this next photo really humanizes John and his generation for me.

So while hopefully having some joy and adventure, it seems as if he also applied himself in school, passing his examinations at age 17 and setting him up to start apprenticing to become a shipping clerk.

Upon finishing school, he got into the shipping industry, joining White Star Lines. Does that name sound familiar? Well it should; it's the same White Star Line that operated the fateful Titanic, which we will get to shortly.

Looking through his Seaman’s Passport, we see that after his first round trip between London and China, there was a sort of a “homecoming” with him sailing back to India. He remained based there for at least a year, shuttling between Bombay and Shanghai.

What was his life on the ship, and the few precious days he had off in Bombay and Shanghai, like? This obviously will remain a mystery. What kind of friendships did he have with his fellow crewman? With no connection to the outside world for weeks on end, what amazing places and thoughts would the mind wander towards?

While in India, I wonder if he felt like he was back home and whether or not he tried to find an opportunity to reunite with his two siblings.

What I would give to travel back in time to spend a few days at sea (and out on the town) with him.

He eventually made his way back to England and started being a regular on the Liverpool-New York route. I counted 37 round trips in total.

He must have really gotten to know both the Northern Atlantic that he was constantly traversing as well as New York. I wonder what his favourite spots were in New York? Any girlfriends in either Liverpool or New York? Again, a mystery to which we can only imagine things, but I hope that he had the same sense of adventure and joy I have when travelling and making short and joyful pit stops in familiar places.

Research tells me that the Liverpool-New York route was a major thoroughfare for migration to the new world. He made at least 37 round trips on this route and with over 2000 passengers on each boat, we can say that he played a little part in helping many individuals and families seek a new and better life in America and Canada. I wonder how many times I have crossed paths with the descendants of those he helped land in the New World. My experiences to date tell me that the world is a lot smaller than we think, so I would wager that I have encountered at least a few.

And fate would have it that great-grandpa was scheduled to be a purser on the Titanic. Imagine the excitement and pride he must have felt being assigned to the inaugural voyage of the world’s largest and most luxurious ocean liner. 

Then imagine the disappointment he felt when they transferred him to the Titanic’s sistership, the RMS Olympic, just two weeks before the maiden voyage. 

And finally imagine the complex array of feelings he must have had when hearing of the Titanic’s demise. Relief, grief for lost colleagues and friends, a new perspective on life and much more. 

There are fateful moments in many of our lives. Turning points that change not just your life, but those of potentially endless generations to come. Needless to say, I would most likely not be here if he had sailed on the Titanic, as almost all young male crew went down with the ship. 

And soon after one twist of fate came another; this one also being responsible for me being here today. It too involves an intimate encounter involving another ship. More on that in Part 2.